Dear Families,
My name is Olivia, and I am a Burning Tree Ranch alumna. I found sobriety after making several initial attempts at recovery in various short-term treatment facilities – all of which were unsuccessful, until my family reached out to Burning Tree.
I’m able to share my story thanks to the resolve and commitment of my family in supporting and enforcing my path to recovery together with Burning Tree. Without that support, I might still be trapped by addiction, and I never would have completed the long-term treatment program. I certainly wouldn’t have the life I’m so grateful to have today.
Where My Addiction Began
I had a wonderful childhood growing up in the suburbs of Chicago with my parents and two younger sisters. We had everything we needed and more. I was involved in after-school activities and Girl Scouts and was a straight-A student in my classes.
As I got into high school, I noticed changes in myself. I started feeling insecure and self-conscious, as many high schoolers do. I didn’t have the tools or support to cope with my struggles at that age and soon realized that substance use could mask how I felt with how I wanted to feel. That’s where the addiction began, plain and simple.
From that point on, I found my home life becoming more and more chaotic as I told lies to my parents and family – manipulating them to maintain my new habits, and it worked for a while.
In retrospect, I think I was running from myself. My addiction masked a lot of things for me at the beginning, like fear, guilt, shame, and insecurity. I just wanted to feel comfortable in my skin, and drugs and alcohol gave that to me at the beginning.
Then, it stopped working the way it had, and I used my negative experiences to justify my use.
"I didn’t have the tools or support to cope with my struggles and soon realized that substance use could mask how I felt with how I wanted to feel."
Finding the Willingness to Enroll (And Stay) at Burning Tree Ranch
As things moved forward, I had a genuine will to become sober, but I had tried and failed several times. My family knew what we had been trying wasn’t working by this time. The 30, 60, and 90-day programs and aftercare support weren’t effective.
I called my therapist and asked for help, and she recommended Burning Tree Ranch to my family. They set firm boundaries around Burning Tree being my only option.
If my family had never set those hard lines, I don’t think I would have ever agreed to go to Burning Tree Ranch; I would have picked an easier, softer path. Ultimately, they followed the direction of the professionals, for which I am now very grateful.
Being willing to start the Burning Tree program was one thing—I was desperate and hurting, and it was the only real choice remaining for me.
Committing to the program, however, was a very different challenge.
At first, I expected my family to “rescue” me again. I didn’t expect to stay at Burning Tree Ranch. But I found that their boundaries were firm this time around. It was Burning Tree Ranch, or I’d be alone for good. Despite the addiction, I knew I didn’t want to be alone. I had almost nothing for myself.
My family remained a united front with the Burning Tree Ranch team during my entire treatment, although I would frequently complain and make attempts to get out of treatment.
Ultimately, I chose to stay at Burning Tree Ranch because I had nothing to fall back on – no finances, no home, no help, no family support. Ultimately, the boundaries my family set forth encouraged me to put in the work and make the changes.
"At first, I expected my family to 'rescue' me again. I didn’t expect to stay at Burning Tree Ranch. But I found that their boundaries were firm this time around."
Reconnecting with Integrity & Accountability at the Ranch
Several aspects of treatment at the Ranch helped me develop integrity and accountability, which made me aware of my actions. The long-term residential phase, consistent therapy, and peer accountability approach were exactly what I needed.
Before Burning Tree Ranch, I skated through other short-term treatment centers because I could hold my breath. I could go through the motions, do what they asked, and say what they wanted to hear without diving deep into my recovery. I was given some great opportunities to stay sober, and I couldn’t do it. I had all of the knowledge and could have run groups on addiction and recovery.
It wasn’t until I started working through the Burning Tree Ranch program that I began to find integrity in all aspects of my life, past and present.
I started to own my mistakes. I made an effort to talk one-on-one with the people I loved who I knew I had hurt. These conversations and the ongoing changes I was going through couldn’t undo the past, but in a way, they did help put right many wrongs.
As these changes rolled in, I would speak to my family frankly about the harm I had caused. In the past, I had lost their trust, but by owning my mistakes and continuing the work to get and stay sober, our relationship began to heal.
They even come to me for advice, support, and direction. We talk often, and my actions match my words in virtually all areas of my life.
"Before Burning Tree Ranch, I skated through other short-term treatment centers because I could hold my breath. I could go through the motions, do what they asked, and say what they wanted to hear without diving deep into my recovery."
Embracing Self-Awareness & Making Connections in Aftercare
The aftercare program through Burning Tree Ranch was vital for my recovery. By the time I transitioned into aftercare, I had made significant internal changes and really felt like a new person. I was proud of the progress I had made.
As I settled back into real life, old behaviors and patterns started to crop up. I would notice things around me—or within me—that might have led to using in the past. But now, I feel more self-aware and have experienced fundamental changes during residential treatment. I also had the support of aftercare staff and my community.
Before I even entered aftercare, supportive connections were being built for me. I was in a sober living environment with all of the women I had been in treatment with, and these people had become like sisters to me. We relied on each other to point out behaviors and share concerns, making us more accountable and honest.
I was already sober for a long time by now, really a changed person. I felt that pride and that confidence, and yet I still struggled from time to time during aftercare. I give thanks to my support network and the slow transition back to independent living that helped me to stay sober and do the things I needed to do.
"I was in a sober living environment with all of the women I had been in treatment with, and these people had become like sisters to me."
What My Life Looks Like Today
I was always told sobriety would change my life, but I never really believed it. Even after becoming sober, it was still some time before I fully recognized the difference in my life.
I am now a mom to two boys. My free time includes soccer games, swim lessons, play dates, and nights out with friends. Being a mom has been the biggest blessing I have received since sobriety.
I’m an active member of my family and someone who brings them joy. I am someone my friends call for help and support. I am an active member in my home group and enjoy helping others.
I never would have thought my life could be this full. I can walk through life’s difficulties with grace and strength.
Professionally, I am now the Director of Admissions at Burning Tree Ranch. I’m on the other end of the phone when someone needs help; coming full circle from patient to staff is a life I could not have even imagined for myself.
When I was an addict, it was my strong willpower, stubbornness, and resourcefulness that fueled my addiction. Today, these are the traits that enforce my independence, my relationships, and my motherhood.
Today, I am grateful for Burning Tree Ranch and for my family’s decision to enforce the firm boundaries that helped me achieve the life I have today.
"When I was an addict, it was my strong willpower, stubbornness, and resourcefulness that fueled my addiction. Today, these are the traits that enforce my independence, my relationships, and my motherhood. "
My Message For Those Interested in Burning Tree Ranch
Having been on both sides of the phone – on both sides of the program – I know that committing to Burning Tree Ranch is difficult, but then so is remaining in addiction. If this is where your family is at, here’s what I have to say to you:
Make the call. We are here to help you determine whether we are the appropriate fit for your loved one or to offer additional resources. We want to help.
Listen to the recommendations from professionals. We treat addiction and alcoholism as if it is life and death because it is. With this comes some hard truths and direction from treatment professionals, including the Burning Tree Ranch team. You must be willing to do something different, as your loved one’s life may depend on it.
Seek outside support. A wide range of helpful resources are available, some of which are free, like Al-Anon. We can help you find further support.
Speak with other alumni families or clients. Nobody understands your story like those of us who have lived it. We can connect you with alumni families or clients who have been in a similar situation. They can help provide experience and hope.
Educate yourself on long-term treatment. Our website is filled with videos and testimonials from staff and alumni. We’ve put together many resources on addiction, relapse, and mental health. Our facility is geared to treat chronic relapsers specifically, and we’re the only authentic long-term program in the country.
If you make the call, we will answer.
Sincerely,
Olivia Wilder
Burning Tree Ranch
Director of Admissions
